Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
