I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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