Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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