I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
