I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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