This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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