You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
