He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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