I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
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Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...