She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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