ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
