Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
