you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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