I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
