I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
