1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
