For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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