you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
