Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
