I accidentally had phone sex last night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
