Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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