would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A+ Viking dick
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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