y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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