Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
