Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
sex in a hospital.. check
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
