So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
