threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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