Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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