I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
