He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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