i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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