I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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