I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
