dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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