I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
