are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize