he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
