The maid of honor just puked.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
