I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
