guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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