im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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