I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
