I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize