I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
