you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
