Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
