I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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