i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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