Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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