What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
