i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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