She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
