Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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