everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
