Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
