ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
