belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
