walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
