whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
