He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
not ubering you a puppy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
