Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
