from now on my penis is your penis
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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