Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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