I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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