Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
