im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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