Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize