We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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